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by Robert Jawitz
Childcare for a family of four is the second costliest budget
item (less only to housing). The reason for this is that to
survive in this money oriented economy, both the husband and
wife must work. The income the second wage earner makes is
only slightly more than the childcare costs. With the relief
from high housing costs, the savings will enable one of the
wage earners to stay home to rear the children.
Childcare is very demanding. Children, from early on, are
seeking constant stimulation and require almost continuous
attention including feeding, changing, bathing and play. The
parent that accepts these duties gives up his or her adult
interests (education, career, hobbies, partying) and becomes
a nurse and a playmate to the children. Many parents look forward
to these duties and see parenting as the legacy of his or her
or their lives. Many, however, feel overwhelmed by these duties
and have chosen the work force and the accompanying childcare
costs as an alternative to full time parenting.
The issue of quality of childcare now comes into the equation.
There should be no question that the best childcare comes from
the parents, particularly the mother. The bond of the mother
and to a lesser degree the father provides a level of sympathy,
oversight, wisdom and sense of responsibility that no hired
substitute can provide, no matter how professional or well-trained.
Still, for the parent who is overwhelmed by the childcare
duties, even with the lessening of the financial strain of
housing costs, some other alternatives should be available
or the stressed overwhelmed parent won’t give quality
childcare. One alternative is for the two parents to share
the childcare duties. With the lessening of housing, childcare
and food costs, only one income should be required and that
can be satisfied by two half-time incomes. Another alternative
is to get support from the extended family, particularly the
grandparents.
Grandparents also have the sympathy, oversight, wisdom and
sense of responsibility that parents have and are better qualified
than any paid substitute. They may even have more wisdom, because
of their experience, than the parents. However, they don’t
have the energy. Many grandparents take the full childcare
duties when circumstances require it, like for single parents,
but it is a big sacrifice. The best model for the participation
of grandparents is for part-time support. They should be there
when the responsible parent has an emergency, has a conflict
or just gets harried. They should be there to give some relief
just for the parents to have some time off. But mostly, they
should be there to provide the children the exposure to the
wisdom and experience of another generation, to provide some-input
on some difficult parenting issues and to be a warm friend
to the children. For quality childcare, the frequent participation
of grandparents is essential.
For this reason, RMI has developed the living model where
the grandparents and even the great-grandparents live nearby.
Nearby can be within the same community, but, ideally, should
be in the same family compound. Here the generations can share
all the duties of the homestead, including help with the family
business, food production, food preparation, transportation,
healthcare and childcare.
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